Umbra si Lumina
by lesaix
Summary: He's a shadow of a man, but someone comes along to show him the light {Dark romance/ArthurxOC}


_I have not written any sort of fanfiction in a very, very long time. But I loved this show and its characters enough to give it a try. Please let me know what you think!_

 **-2 years after the events of season 4-**

The Arthur the Shelby's knew now was a shadow of a man.

Linda had been pregnant with their second child. A relatively healthy pregnancy, all things considered. Arthur had been ecstatic when she first told him. Things were finally "normal"... as normal as things could be for them. He was eager to raise his children in peace, not having to constantly look over his shoulder. But the day came when she was ready to give birth and... Nothing.

No screams or cries that signified an otherwise healthy newborn. Just a still silence as the doctor removed the infant from its mother. Arthur looked at the doctor expectantly, hoping against hope that this was normal and his child would start crying any moment now. But even behind the mask, the doctors face looked grim.

Linda could be heard screaming "My baby! Give me my baby!" but it sounded like she was miles away now. Arthur's vision narrowed, like he was staring down a long hallway. He stumbled over to a table and grabbed a glass, poured some whiskey, and downed it like water. Then he rushed over, grabbed the doctor by the collar, and lifted him up until his feet were dangling above the floor.

"What did you do?!" Arthur cried. There had to be something someone had done to cause this. Linda had had no complications during her pregnancy. If anything, it was healthier than her first. Was this doctor sent by someone to kill his child? He'd murder whoever was responsible. He would murder their entire family.

The doctor choked on his words, not helped by the growing pressure around his throat from Arthur's hands. "T-the umbilical... cord..." Arthur threw the man down as he gasped for breath and ran over to his wife. She was screaming, crying, begging for God or anyone to bring her baby back. It's face had a tinge of purple and blue, obviously from the lack of oxygen in the birth canal. Arthur broke down at his wife's bedside, slamming his fists against the floor until they became a bloody mess.

 **-2 weeks later-**

The Shelby family was gathered around a caravan, dressed in black with solemn expressions on their faces. Arthur wanted her to have a Romani burial. As he walked beside the caravan and arrived at the burial grounds, he did not want to lift his gaze from the ground to meet his family's. He had sequestered himself for two weeks, not taking calls or visits from anyone. Above anyone, Tommy had been the most concerned. He knew how it felt to lose a wife.

He walked towards them, shaking although the weather was quite warm for England standards. The first to approach him was Polly. Her wizened eyes inspected him, then her hand reached for his shoulder. As soon as it made contact, he had to avert his gaze to stop the tears. "It's alright Arthur." Polly said, a sad smile on her face. "The spirits took them both but they'll watch over us now". Arthur nodded and wiped his eyes, ready to meet the others.

They were all grouped together, chatting amongst themselves in hushed tones. Tommy, Ada, Finn, Lizzie, and young Billy, Charlie, and Ruby were all in a circle, their backs turned to Arthur. Once he got closer with Polly, Ada was the first to spot them. She cleared her throat loudly, seeming to try to alert the others of his presence, and greeted him with a forced smile and a hug. She held onto him for a little longer than normal, pressing her cheek against his shoulder and squeezing him tightly.

As she pulled back, she looked into his eyes and saw that all the light had left him. There was only sadness and emptiness there, a look she'd only seen before when he'd had his fits. From before he met Linda. Ada bit her lip and stepped aside, exchanging a knowing look with Polly who had seen the same thing.

Finn gave him a pat on the back as he walked past, and Charlie, Billy, and Ruby were sitting on the ground playing with some jacks. They didn't truly understand the gravity of the situation. This made Arthur smile a bit. If only he could go back to being that naive.

Tommy looked up from his pocket watch, placed it back in his breast pocket, and locked eyes with Arthur who had stopped in his tracks. How long had it been since they'd seen each other? After the events with Luca Changretta, everyone had gone their separate ways. There was no longer a need for family solidarity, for safety in numbers. They didn't have to fight for their lives anymore. And that made Tommy anxious.

He'd phoned Arthur many times, asking if he wanted to do a job burning down a competing liquor warehouse or raiding a nearby bar but after so many rejections and finally just no more answers, the calls stopped. He only tried again when he'd heard the news of Arthur's baby's death, and Linda's subsequent suicide...

She was devastated, feeling it was somehow her fault. She'd been prescribed sleeping pills from the local doctor, to help with the insomnia caused by her postpartum depression. One night, she just decided to take the whole bottle. She laid next to Arthur, who was already fast asleep, and drifted off, never to wake up again. Arthur discovered her body the next morning, cold and lifeless, but with a calm smile on her face. Like she was finally at peace, her hand resting lightly over her cross necklace. Tommy could only imagine the pain he felt. He had been in a darkness after losing Grace, and that darkness never really left you.

Tommy took the initiative, walking up to his older brother and grabbing his shoulders firmly. There were tears misting Arthur's eyes, dull and blackened from the lack of sleep over the past weeks.

"She's gone," he whispered, his voice catching in his throat. "She's fuckin' gone, Tommy."

Tommy's eyes closed for a moment, trying to keep his tears at bay. He had to be strong for Arthur. They all did. Arthur was the oldest child but he was also the most emotional. John had been hotheaded, but Arthur was a loose cannon. Any extreme - sadness, anger, excitement, even happiness sent him into a full blown spiral and it was almost impossible to reign him back in. Tommy knew this, so he had to keep a level head. Even in times of great turmoil.

"In the bleak midwinter," Tommy whispered. Arthur's eyes widened, but then he nodded. Looking down at the ground, he replied, "In the bleak midwinter".

The rest of the funeral passed by in a blur. Family friends and relatives passed through, offering their condolences to the Shelby's. None of it meant anything to Arthur. They didn't know Linda. They didn't know Billy. They only knew Arthur, and half of them only knew who Arthur used to be.

They didn't know the man that had found God through his beautiful wife, the man who had changed his son in the middle of the night because Linda was fast asleep and he didn't want to disturb her. They only knew the Peaky Blinder. The Arthur who would kill any man who looked at him the wrong way and the Arthur who would fuck any woman that looked at him the right way. The Arthur that had killed a boy in a blind fit of rage... and that wasn't who he was anymore.

Nearing the end, the body of his unborn child and his wife were prepared for burial. They were placed inside a caravan, decorated with different silks and flowers. Linda was in a blue satin gown... Arthur's favorite. And their child, his first and only daughter... was laid atop his wife's chest, as if they were both sleeping. Arthur couldn't bare to look anymore. He turned his back as the flames ignited, the smell of sulfur and burning wood filling his lungs.

He collapsed to the ground as Tommy and Finn rushed to his side. They were talking but he couldn't hear them. Or he wouldn't hear them. All he could think of was running and jumping on top of the burning pyre, joining the woman he loved in the afterlife and leaving this life behind. But he couldn't. He knew he couldn't. He had to be there for Tommy. He had to continue, for the Peaky Blinders.


End file.
